Dude. Dude. No. Just…no.

Look.

There’s a time and a place, mm? And that time and that place is not “all” and “everywhere ever.” Because that is creepy. And what do we know about creepy?

That’s right. Don’t be.

Here’s an example. 

There’s a mall near me. It’s, y’know, a mall. Anchor department stores, pretzels, questionable knock-off perfumes — malltastic. As you know, malls have been having trouble, so they’re trying lots of things to bring shoppers back in and keep ’em there. This particular mall has added that most lovely of benefits, free Wi-Fi.

Two of my favorite words. Right up there with “open bar” and “unlimited waffles.”

Now, to get to this precious, precious Wi-Fi, you have to give them your email. Ok, that’s pretty standard. They want to build their email list, and heaven knows that’s become common practice.

But then? After you’ve already signed up for a mailing list from which you’ll eventually unsubscribe?

You have to watch a video.

Wrong place, wrong time. Bad marketing. Either people will ignore that video, or be actively irritated by it. Or ignore the video and then tweet their irritation using your Wi-Fi.

Do you want your carefully crafted narrative to irritate potential customers? Waste all the money you put into production and nuke any snuggly feelings of good will you’re generating by providing teens access to Snapchat?

Didn’t think so.

Choose your place. Choose your time. Don’t be creepy.